I made this dress to illustrate the the ever present cloud of imposter syndrome and all the things I think ‘they’ are thinking.
I’ve suffered from it for years and it pains me to think of all the opportunities and invitations I’ve turned down because of that infuriating inner critique who rejoices in reminding me that I’m simply not good enough.
There’s a lot of talk about this issue among the artists I work alongside and its been so refreshing to discover that even the most confident-projecting people I know, suffer too. They just have better ways of masking it than me!
To be knowingly or seemingly uninvited to anything is such a devastating blow to ones ego, heart and soul. But to be invited and then doubting the authenticity of the gesture, leaves just as sour a response to be fair.
The irationality is real!
I wanted to make a party dress. The kind I would have worn to all the best parties when I was a young girl, should I had been invited. Big puffy party sleeves of course. A full and flirty skirt to dance and twirl round in until peak of dizzy, with enough fabric each side to grasp onto for extreme moments of self-conciousness when I didn’t quite know what to do with myself.
It would not have been transparent though. Not like this one. The stuff of nightmares of course to turn up to a party and everyone see right through you. Noticing all your flaws along with your pants!
But those words would be loud and clear and there, for all to see, in no particular order: unlikeable, ungracious, unsteady, unbefitting, unattractive, unfortunate, ungainly, unpopular, uncool, unfit, undeserving, unfashionable, unexceptional, unsuitable, uninspiring, uneducated, unexciting, underwhelming, unwanted, uninteresting, unequal, unwelcome, unqualified, unstable, unapproachable…
How effortlessly a word can change from one extreme to the polar opposite with the addition of a tiny, two character prefix – un.
I managed to scare a few Instagram followers with these images. That wasn’t my intent, I assure you. In fact I didn’t know how I was going to present the final dress in front of the lens but I did know it needed a mask. I didn’t want my face and expression to take anything away from the dress. I can’t fake sad and I didn’t want comedy sad, just rejection. The graphic image of the Pierrot doll featured a lot in my childhood. On my mirror, the cover of my diary. I had a bag, a pencil case and an actual doll. It seemed a perfect time to bring the charming little clown back into play and I couldn’t resist making a little ruffled collar as an additional accessory too..
The materials I used were all reclaimed. The dress itself it made from a voile net curtain, The added ruffles were strips cut from the remains a lace net curtain, the scallopped edge of which was used for the collar. The mask is papier mache, and painted with acrylic paints. I bought these white slingback shoes a while back for a shoot and just made some lacy pompoms (from strips of the net curtain) to clip to the fronts (with hair grips!).
The dress itself was self-drafted and the words embroidered using the free-motion technique on my sewing machine. This was undoubtedly the most challenging part as the fabric insisted on disappearing down with the feed dogs on one too many an occasion!
It wasn’t just the dress that was made with what was available, Dan created the wonderful setting with stuff that was simply just lying around. I was so busy with work alongside the making of the dress and putting it all together I hadn’t thought beyond a plain colour roll as a backdrop for the shots but was blown away when I saw the magically lit set he had created.
And I’m so happy with the result. I’m so grateful that he supports all my crazy sewing and art ideas and basically helps me to decant all the head soup that would otherwise be bubbling away and instead allows space for all the new stuff!
If you’d like to see this piece for real, It will be on display in or near my workspace on Saturday 8th June at Kindred Open Studios (Shepherds Bush, West London). Do come along if you are local and you can – it’s FREE! – There are in excess of 65 artists here with so much talent to see, a fabulous exhibition in the main gallery, live music, cafe and bar, free workshops (sign up for my little mending circle here) with DJ and campfire as we keep going till 10.30pm in the evening. I assure you it will be worth a wee trip!
If I get a chance to take some photos, I’ll do a little post about it as it might just be the last one… no pressure!
In the meantime, I’m going to be planning my next piece of wearable art because I realised this is what I absolutely love for all number of reasons. Please leave a comment with any thoughts or questions. I love to hear from you all. Until next time x
Time flies for sure… the busy build up to an event – the planning, the logo, the promo, gathering of goods and rounding up the masses – to the the ultimate excitement of the day; a sweep up, a take down, a moment of after-buzz . . . and then it’s done – finished in a flash. Then it’s on to the next thing, a bit too quickly. I’m referencing the Mending Meet-Up of course, hosted by Sarah @mhwpatterns and me at Kindred Studios last weekend.
I was feeling a bit sad about moving on from it so fast until I clicked through to Dan’s photos and I was transported right back to last Saturday with an opportunity to soak up the sewing atmosphere for a second time.
Everyone had bought things to fix — scarves, socks, tops, dresses and bags — and there were some gorgeous examples of previously completed work being shared too.
Quite a few people had come along on their own and I was quickly reminded of how friendly and welcoming the sewing community truly is. I loved how quickly and effortlessly people introduced themselves, cooed over each other’s projects, and bonded over needle and thread. No one was left out.
Dan was such a wonderful host, making sure everyone had a cuppa and a never ending supply of naughty treats – no sewing meet up is complete without cake!
Sarah set the scene with a little introductory talk and then handed over to me. I’m sure I didn’t cover the half of what I intended to say, partly through nerves but also because mending is such a small word for all that it encompasses. I was taught to mend invisibly guided by the watchful eye of my mum who is still to this day an incredible seamstress and tailor.
As my skills and confidence have grown over the years I’ve employed a more artistic approach using coloured stitches to create a series of ‘mini artworks’ on my aging and fraying denim jacket. I’ve painted, printed and appliquéd on clothes and I’ve reworked old things to make them new. I was proud to have some of them on display that day, alongside some wonderful contributions from Kindred textile artists.
Alexandra Brinck, textile designer and repair specialist, was one of our special guests who hosted a drop-in clinic for anyone seeking advice on knitwear repairs. She bought along a little pop up shop for any tools and notions needed along with some super inspiring examples of her work. Needles to say this was a very popular corner of the room and everyone was so pleased with their new found skills.
One of the original draws for this meet up (we thought) was a fabric-shopping opportunity in Goldhawk Road with its stretch of 20 or more shops and stalls. At the beginning of the day we had suggested a little lunchtime tour if anyone was interested. But not so surprisingly there was very little take up. In fact I didn’t see a single person return from their lunch break with a shopping bag. I really do think that the act of mending and the talk of falling back in love with our own clothes by fixing or reworking them, planted some seeds. Planet whispering ‘thanks’ as that little thought sank in!
Nicole Akong, designer, maker and sewing Bee royalty was our celebrity speaker who inspired us on so many levels. My main takeaways were that you really don’t have to create everything from scratch. Nicole’s use of bold and extravagant trims transform the most basic of thrifted garments into stunning works of art.
She encouraged us to dress for our authentic selves. This resonated hard because I’m still working on that but I’m really enjoying the journey so far. She also gave us permission not to have to categorise ourselves – a relief to know because I do so many things I’m always at a loss how to introduce myself! And she told us how important it was to keep learning – skills pay the bills!
More sewing ensued, more tea was poured and the cake kept coming before the day drew to an end. Lots of happy stitchers packed up their work before hugging their old and new sewing friends goodbye, remarking on the good time had and excited for the next already.
Reflecting on how everyone effortlessly connected, generously sharing their skills, offering help to those in need and enthusing about their sewing journeys; watching the expressions of concentration, achievement and smiles of pride as they stitched over the course of the day made us feel so proud.
Would we do it all again?. You bet yer beautiful darned socks we will! A special thank you to everyone who came and made our mending meet-up a roaring success. And I hope to bring you news of a new sewing sewcial date in due course.
I don’t know about you but this year has been a slow starter for me. Full on with actual work but slow to get sewing, not a lot of space or energy to glean inspiration or motivation. But a trip to The Stitch Festival last week was just the ticket!
Like many others I was a bit confused by the rebrand – Previously named the Spring Knitting and Stitching Show, which was a bit of a mouthful to be honest – apparently it’s been changed to distinguish it from The Knitting and Stitching Shows later on in the year.
This year’s Stitch Festival ran from Thursday 25th until Sunday 28th February and was held at the Business Design Centre in Islington. Just a short tube ride for me but apparently easy enough for everyone I met travelling from further afield.
I went without a plan and especially planned not to buy fabric.
But with minutes of arrival, I found myself fondling some awesome vintage bark cloth fabric at stand H49: Olive Road London.
I didn’t realise it was genuine vintage at first and was about to kick off when I saw exactly the same curtain fabric I’d purchased in Brighton 5 years ago which I made into a Capital Chic Martini dress. For a split second I really thought I had mistakenly bought a modern take on a vintage fabric – that I’d been sold fake vintage! And then the lovely stall holder reassured me it was genuine and we had a good chat about how it must have been as super popular then as it is now! I wanted all her bark cloth, especially a small piece of rose print that caught my eye just as I was moving on.
Soon after I waved to Tilly on her cute little stall. Always so cute. And always so busy. It was delightful to catch up with her at her recent book launch party for Make It Simple , so I didn’t feel quite so cheated of chat!
It was impossible to avert eyes at the fabric stalls. They were many and they were all fabulous. I particularly loved how The Textile Centre displayed their fabrics, deliciously draped on hanging mannequins. And some at just £5 per metre. Such a tease. One of the few things that holds me back from buying is that I must have a plan before I go adding aimlessly to my stash. I loved that black and green wiggle-dress fabric on the corner but I was ridiculously restrained.
In fact I was so proud of my power to refrain until I chanced upon M. Rosenberg & Son‘s stall. Gets me every time. One of my favourite purchases from them was the sparkly dog-tooth I used for my vintage Butterick coat. And their powers of lure was just as strong this year. How on earth was I supposed to walk past this?!:
I didn’t of course. Just as I stopped to take a closer look, I heard my name called across the other side of the stall. I looked up and was so excited to see Dibs Maxwell who I first met very many years ago, online at Dibs and the Machine. She now sells specially selected and stunning fabric at Selvedge and Bolts. Defo worth a browse! She fought her way round to my side and we hugged a big hug! No photo sadly to display we just carried on from where we left off, chatting and laughing (always laughing) And then she made me buy the fabric!!
We wandered over to see Sew Me Sunshine and The Foldline who shared a stall together. They too were chocca with customers so we said our hellos and terra’s and went on our merry way.
I wandered a little more in search of an expanding sewing gauge. But I couldn’t find one for looking. What I did want more at this point was a little sit down and a bite to eat. The cafe area looked fab with lots of healthy and delicious options but I tend to bring my own to events like this. Basically so I can skip the queue and guarantee I will get a truly plant-based option, not one that’s had the cheese flipped out of it! I sat on the mezzanine level along with like-minded visitors, looking down on the visitors buzzing around on the various levels and planned my next move.
I noticed that John Scott (John Scott Sewing World) was about to do a talk in the next half hour so I took a seat near the front of the hall and stroked my D&G fabric while I waited. I really didn’t expect the hilarity and the fun that followed. I recognised John but I can’t say I really knew that much about him at that point. Within seconds I was in stitches hearing about his stories in the film and TV industry. He really is an amazing story teller.
I loved hearing how his signature bridal wear included beading as much on the back if not more than on the front of a wedding gown, given that most of the photo opportunities involve the back view of a bride when she is talking to her guests!
I gasped when he told of the ballgown that he made for his mother to wear to a party and that was spotted by Princess Margaret across the room. She asked who the designer was and that’s how John began making couture dresses for the Royals. Hilariously, his parents were still largely unimpressed that he was a dress designer at that point and only started coming round when they saw his name among the credits of a Bond movie. But the acceptance came when after all the big blockbuster films – like Tomb Raider, Love Actually, and Notting Hill and all the TV shows, including the Catherine Cookson epics and Poirot (whereby all the costumes were made authentically to 1920s and 1930s fashions) – he joined Richard and Judy for a slot as the resident fashion expert on This Morning and stayed for 10 years! Now his mum was truly proud and told all her friends!
Seriously I could have listened to John all day. He was so uplifting. I felt like I’d been having a chat with an old friend. Plus I got a cheeky photo with him afterwards!
I left the talk inspired and hanging on to Johns best bit of advice to ‘let the universe guide you’. I generally do that but I loved that he reinforced the mission!
Next stop was a little stall run by Stef at Wear Your Art. She was demonstrating her brilliant dye sublimation crayons. I’ve never seen these before and I was blown away with how vividly they transferred to fabric.
There are two processes: the first is to draw a design on paper, place it face down on the fabric and the iron on the reverse to transfer. The second is to draw directly onto the fabric, place a protective piece of paper on top and then iron to fix design in place. The latter results in a richer colour especially if the fabric is man made. It works on natural fibres too but not quite as vividly.
I can’t wait to use my crayons to create a truly original piece of art to wear! If you fancy some too and didn’t grab a pack at the Stitch Fest you can order a set from Ebay here.
Nearby I spied the entries for the Stitch Festival Dressmaking Competition and I was so impressed with the entries. I picked three faves . . .
This is Weapons of Mass Reconstruction by Debra Wade:
She based the shape on the simple classic Kimono. The theme was inspired by Afghan war rugs, Russian tanks (named after flowers) and the patchwork reflected rebuilding over scars of terrorism.
It incorporated the contrast of delicate fabric and brutal imagery in a way that was both camouflaged and pretty.
No pattern was used and the materials were mostly reclaimed linen and cotton, tablecloths, clothing and curtains. I just loved the concept and the end result.
10.4tog jacket by Gillian Foster:
No pattern was used for Gillian Fosters 10.4 jacket either. She set about combining her love of watercolour painting, freeform stitching and a reclaimed duvet to create her masterpiece. I’m so fired up to be more free with my sewing already – oh the possibilities!
I also loved this outfit by Hannah Gait.
It was part of her graduate collection inspired by the blues of a midnight garden: using wool and silk fabrics with an embroidered vine design of her own. I’m not sure it befitted the evening-wear category but I would certainly wear this outfit at any time of the day.
A little wander on from here led me to a small collection of garments by Swanky Modes I had a quick look and a read before I went in to hear Esme Young talk.
It was lovely to hear Esme talk about her life and work. I knew nothing about Swanky Modes, the 70s Camden boutique she set up with her St. Martins Graduate friends, Judy Dewsbury, Melanie Herberfield and Willie Walters. So fascinating and inspiring to hear how they set about, creating crazy one-off outfits from bedding and shower curtains and practically anything they could get their hands on.
The small selection of costumes on display included
The Pyjamas from Bridget Jones
Dale Winton’s luxe suit from Trainspotting 2
The nurses outfit from Trainspotting 2
Dale Winton and Rachael Flemming in Trainspotting2
The Padlock dress worn by Grace Jones
The amorphous dress created by Esme’s fashion brand Swanky Modes
Daywear from the Swanky Modes label
Just as I was leaving the lecture theatre I spied Susan Young from SusanYoungSewing and ambassador for SewOver50 across the room. Always a treat to bump into your sewing friends but not least of all when they introduce you to two very lovely Sewing Bee contestants: Janet Pool and Juliet Uzor. I bloody love the sewing community!
I’m buzzing at this point. I can’t believe that a single ticket not only gave access to such a massive selection of quality stalls to buy from but also quality talks and demos a-plenty with a familiar face or ten to bump into along the way!
I wasn’t quite finished yet. I hovered around some more cool looking demos – embroidery and crochet – before I was drawn into the marvellous space hosted by King’s Ely Independent School, Cambridge.
The display was an amazing array of A-level textile students’ work. I was literally blown away with the high level of concepts and craftsmanship. The first one that caught my eye was entitled A Sense of Place by Katherine Wood:
I loved the mossy textures and fantasy woodland vibe along with the dripping threads and natural earthy colour tones.
I spoke to one of the school’s retired tutors who was delighted to show me around the exhibits. She was so proud of the student’s work and rightly so.
The passion for their subject was evident in the carefully chosen materials and colours and not least of all, workmanship. I couldn’t take my eyes off this coat of printed and embroidered hessian patchwork pieces. So original and so impressive.
And then this stunning dress … with a ruff no less. I do love a ruff. Such fabulous colour and textures formed with well considered placement of organza and chiffon and the copper metalic threads reflected the light so brilliantly. I really want to make a dress with a ruff now.
Thank you Kings Ely School, for such an awesome and motivating feast for the eyes. You are all very talented artists and designers and I will be waiting patiently for the day I see your names in lights and telling all that I saw your work first at The Stitch Festival 2020!
Believe it or not there was much more to see and do but sadly I have to end here. I’m as exhausted writing this as I was at the end of my day at the festival! I left with a couple of hours to spare, buzzing with new ideas, more motivated than ever and clutching my bag of stunning D&G fabric.
What do you gift an incredibly lovely, clever, successful and well-travelled friend who doesn’t really care for ‘stuff’?
I didn’t know either but I figured something handmade and personalised would be the answer. So I set about creating a tote bag with an appliquéd portrait of the ‘birthday girl’ on the front.
To be fair I’m sure this bag still counts as ‘stuff’ but with a nod to usefulness at least!
I took the photo of Katy at the pub where we met before we set off for the wedding of our mutual friends. She looked amazing in her gorgeous hat that was made by our amazing milliner friend, Jayne Hepsibah. And it seemed to me an all-round perfect pose for a stitched portrait.
This project has been on my reminder list for weeks. But (note to self) January is a ridiculously busy month in the world of children’s publishing and in my capacity as a freelancer this basically results in all work and absolutely no play. Read no sewing time at all!!
So, true to form, I started making it in the morning and had it ready for the party that evening!
It’s a pretty time-consuming but relatively simple process.
I enlarged the image to the correct size, on screen and then flipped it (so she was facing in the opposite direction) before printing out a copy on regular plain printer paper. I scribbled on the reverse with an HB pencil to create a carbon layer and then drew around the key areas of the image to leave a traced line onto the backing paper of some double-sided fusible webbing.
I cut around these pieces with extra allowance before ironing into the reverse of my selected fabric pieces. That way, when they were trimmed, each piece was as accurate as poss and the sticky bit reached to all the edges and points.
Then I ironed them in position on the bag front piece in order that there was a little overlap in places. It was so satisfying to see it come together at this point.
And then for the machine embroidery I used a regular black polyester thread. (Moon brand) with a white embroidery bobbin thread. I believe you can get it in black too but white seemed to work fine with no show-through. I also delighted in using some water-soluble stabiliser which is just amazing.
I used a Sharpie pen to draw the linework onto the stabiliser and then overlaid it onto the working area before sandwiching all into an embroidery hoop. Luckily my hoop just about fits under the presser foot so I could ‘draw’ all the finer detail using the freehand embroidery foot. Black threadfor the most part. And then silver metalic thread for the ring and watch, metallic red for the feathers. Worked a treat. No puckering. No skipped Stitches.
Even more satisfying was the action of peeling away the stabiliser. The little remaining fragments are washed away with cold water. Like magic!
Once dried, I sewed up the bag using some black cotton twill from stash and included a gingham lining and an ooobop label of authenticity, of course!
I’m so pleased with the result. Not least of all because it documentsfond memory of a lovely day we spent together, but it includes some memories in the fabric, too:
The calico is from a toile of a favourite dress; the hat is leftover from the red corduroy dress I made for my granddaughter and the silk lips are from my memade 50th birthday dress. All small scraps I couldn’t bear to part with but that now have the best use!
I loved making this so so much. Guilt-ridden in fact, for the joy it’s given me in the process of creating and giving.Add to that all the memories that bubbled to the surface along the way and you end up with a bag full of sentimentality.
Here’s to good friends, great parties and an eternal basket of spectacularly inspired sewing projects!
In a few days time I’ll be wondering why on earth I didn’t make all my Christmas presents. All that joy that could have been had by hand-crafting beautifully personalised gifts for all my friends and family yet instead I chose to race around stinking hot, over perfumed shopping malls for expensive and ‘box-ticking’ presents. But as I sit, still with a work to-do list up to my ears, I’m currently fully aware why I didn’t quite get round to it!
I did at least manage to rustle up two little decorations for two of my favourite little people – my grandchildren!
This is their first Christmas on planet earth and my first Christmas as a Nanna! And boy am I loving it!
My Christmas tree is filled with decorations either gifted by others or that have been bought at Christmas Fayres in good company. And every year I dec the tree the memories all come flooding back. And I loved the thought that a personalised tree decoration might be a ritual of sorts or a cute keepsake at the very least for Amalia and Blake.
I’d love to report that I stuck to my sustainability guns for not buying new fabric and used leftovers instead. But that would be a complete lie. I couldn’t fight the the vision of lovely linen and festive …. ticking! It just works, right?! I did reclaim some ribbon and rooted around the button tin for the perfect vintage buttons, though.
And if you are interested in the process for these little decs …
The lettering is my handwriting. I perfected it at first on paper within the confines of a heartshape for Amelia and a circle for Blake before tracing onto Solvy water soluble stabiliser. I love this stuff. It’s so much fun! There’s a link to buy this below but you could also use a transfer pencil if you had one to hand. That will wash away too. Anything that doesn’t leave a mark on the finished article.
I then placed the Solvy with the wording on top of the plain linen and then sandwiched them between the embroidery hoops, tightening enough so there is no movement but not too much to stretch the fabric. It just helps to achieve more even stitches and less puckers.
Mostly I used a chainstitch and stem stitches in places using 3 strands of red embroidery thread. Gold metalic embroidery thread for the stars on Blake’s one.
Once the design was finished I washed away the stabiliser with cold water, patted dry with a tea-towel and finished the drying process by ironing.
My paper template then served as a pattern piece to centralise the design and cut the shape around the lettering allowing an extra quarter of an inch for seam allowance. I cut a matching piece for the reverse.
With right sides together I seamed all round, leaving a small gap for turning and clipped the seams for smoother curves.
Polyester toy filling was pushed into the seams before I steamed them for extra smoothness! One they were filled I slip-stitched the opening closed.
I found the red metallic beaded trim at Sarah’s Haberdashery stall in Shepherds Bush Market and I oversewed it along the seam line.
Finally I used a length of ribbon for the loop and sewed it in position on the reverse, adding a little vintage button in both instances to cover the stitches.
I savoured every little wonky stitch of this project, as I reminisced at how much has happened this year. I’m so very proud of my children, and what they have become. And my heart is literally bursting with love for my ever increasing family (bffs included) and what they mean to me. I do hope my little treasures will cherish these as they grow older nearly as much as I’ve loved making them!
So how did you all fare with making gifts this year? Or did you get caught up in the rat race like me? Let me know how you wrestle with your conscience and please give me tips how I can be more productive next year.
In the meantime I would like to thank each and every one of you for sticking with my sporadic posts. It means a lot to still have you reading them and I’m forever grateful for all your lovely comments and continuing support.
Wishing you all the very loveliest of Christmases and the bestest of New Years ever. See you on the other side!
Last Sunday we had the absolute pleasure of meeting artist Harriet Riddell at the Hepsibah Gallery in Hammersmith. I love having this little gallery so close to home and I love art and I love sewing so you can imagine how heavenly it was to be sitting with my nearest and dearest, chatting with the artist herself whilst she effortlessly drew us with by means of a sewing machine!
Harriet is a performance mixed media artist specialising in observational drawings in stitch. Which means she won’t copy a photo – only live subjects need apply, and therefore each and every creation is an original. Oh, and she doesn’t do dogs!
And for someone who graduated only a year or so ago, she has a pretty damned fine back catalogue already. I found it tempting to sit on the face of Jeremy Irons who was beautifully stitched into the seat of a chair and mesmerised by the Mexican dancers with their intricately decorated dresses, on the wall. One of her brilliant projects involved sitting outside in the streets of Birmingham, stitching people sat on a bike whilst they pedalled to power her sewing machine. Just how cool is that?
Of course I quizzed her:
Q: What kind of thread do you use?
A: Just the usual 50p kind from Peckham market!
Q: What is this fabulous fabric you are using?
A: Heavy weight canvas from Goldhawk Rd!
Q: Do you ever get stressed from the queues that build up on your event?
A: Sometimes!
Q: How long without sewing can you go without getting ‘scratchy’
A: About a day or two!
Q: What do you love most about what you do?
A: Travelling the world and meeting wonderful people.
Q: What fancy stitch did you use to create the detailed embroidery on the Mexican dancers’ dresses?
A: Oh I never use those. Just do it freehand!
(I can honestly vouch for her being the coolest person ever!)
Even the reverse of this artwork is beautiful. I need to source a frame with double sided glass so it’s not hidden. Any ideas?
Of course the only downside to this wonderful sitting was that now I am hugely inspired by this lovely lady and I want to venture more down the ridiculously wonderful road of freehand embroidery too. Of course I have plenty nuff hours to fill, don’t I?
You will find plenty more examples of Harriet’s fascinating creations over at Institchyou.
And I leave you with some lovely shots that Mr O took whilst our youngest daughter took the first sitting: