Uninvited Guest – a story of imposter sydrome and the great pretender

Uninvited Guest puppet pose

I made this dress to illustrate the the ever present cloud of imposter syndrome and all the things I think ‘they’ are thinking.

I’ve suffered from it for years and it pains me to think of all the opportunities and invitations I’ve turned down because of that infuriating inner critique who rejoices in reminding me that I’m simply not good enough.

Uninvited Guest sitting crying

There’s a lot of talk about this issue among the artists I work alongside and its been so refreshing to discover that even the most confident-projecting people I know, suffer too. They just have better ways of masking it than me!

To be knowingly or seemingly uninvited to anything is such a devastating blow to ones ego, heart and soul. But to be invited and then doubting the authenticity of the gesture, leaves just as sour a response to be fair.

The irationality is real!

Uninvited Guest who knows

I wanted to make a party dress. The kind I would have worn to all the best parties when I was a young girl, should I had been invited. Big puffy party sleeves of course. A full and flirty skirt to dance and twirl round in until peak of dizzy, with enough fabric each side to grasp onto for extreme moments of self-conciousness when I didn’t quite know what to do with myself.

It would not have been transparent though. Not like this one. The stuff of nightmares of course to turn up to a party and everyone see right through you. Noticing all your flaws along with your pants!

Uninvited Guest curtsey

But those words would be loud and clear and there, for all to see, in no particular order: unlikeable, ungracious, unsteady, unbefitting, unattractive, unfortunate, ungainly, unpopular, uncool, unfit, undeserving, unfashionable, unexceptional, unsuitable, uninspiring, uneducated, unexciting, underwhelming, unwanted, uninteresting, unequal, unwelcome, unqualified, unstable, unapproachable…

How effortlessly a word can change from one extreme to the polar opposite with the addition of a tiny, two character prefix – un.

Uninvited Guest close up

I managed to scare a few Instagram followers with these images. That wasn’t my intent, I assure you. In fact I didn’t know how I was going to present the final dress in front of the lens but I did know it needed a mask. I didn’t want my face and expression to take anything away from the dress. I can’t fake sad and I didn’t want comedy sad, just rejection. The graphic image of the Pierrot doll featured a lot in my childhood. On my mirror, the cover of my diary. I had a bag, a pencil case and an actual doll. It seemed a perfect time to bring the charming little clown back into play and I couldn’t resist making a little ruffled collar as an additional accessory too..

The materials I used were all reclaimed. The dress itself it made from a voile net curtain, The added ruffles were strips cut from the remains a lace net curtain, the scallopped edge of which was used for the collar. The mask is papier mache, and painted with acrylic paints. I bought these white slingback shoes a while back for a shoot and just made some lacy pompoms (from strips of the net curtain) to clip to the fronts (with hair grips!).

Uninvited Guest pompom shoes

The dress itself was self-drafted and the words embroidered using the free-motion technique on my sewing machine. This was undoubtedly the most challenging part as the fabric insisted on disappearing down with the feed dogs on one too many an occasion!

It wasn’t just the dress that was made with what was available, Dan created the wonderful setting with stuff that was simply just lying around. I was so busy with work alongside the making of the dress and putting it all together I hadn’t thought beyond a plain colour roll as a backdrop for the shots but was blown away when I saw the magically lit set he had created.

uninvited Guest corner rays

And I’m so happy with the result. I’m so grateful that he supports all my crazy sewing and art ideas and basically helps me to decant all the head soup that would otherwise be bubbling away and instead allows space for all the new stuff!

Uninvited Guest resting

If you’d like to see this piece for real, It will be on display in or near my workspace on Saturday 8th June at Kindred Open Studios (Shepherds Bush, West London). Do come along if you are local and you can – it’s FREE! – There are in excess of 65 artists here with so much talent to see, a fabulous exhibition in the main gallery, live music, cafe and bar, free workshops (sign up for my little mending circle here) with DJ and campfire as we keep going till 10.30pm in the evening. I assure you it will be worth a wee trip!

If I get a chance to take some photos, I’ll do a little post about it as it might just be the last one… no pressure!

In the meantime, I’m going to be planning my next piece of wearable art because I realised this is what I absolutely love for all number of reasons. Please leave a comment with any thoughts or questions. I love to hear from you all. Until next time x

Almost naked in a McCall’s M7542 Lace top!

M7542 lace top

It won’t surprise you to know that this wasn’t an intended ‘next one on the list’. In fact, to be fair there is no ooobop project list that remains unedited for more than a minute. I even announced a break from self-sewing in my previous post. I am indeed an experienced saboteur of my own plans.

But in this instance I am totally blaming Sam, editor at Sew Now magazine for the delightful interruption of production. She kindly sent me a copy of issue 11, thinking the free pattern, McCall’s M7542 would be ‘very me’. She was very spot on. And I was instantly drawn to view B




The pattern itself is very simple, non-fitted – save a couple of side bust darts, and even though those view B sleeves look dramatically difficult, they are nothing less than a kind of dropped hem circle skirt that falls from the elbow instead of the waist!

So a quick scan of the instructions reaffirmed my plans for not toiling! I just picked the closest size to me and cut the tissue pieces straight out. I didn’t even trace them first. That felt a bit rebellious to be honest. I always trace things off. ‘Just in case’. You know. Or maybe you don’t!

M7542 handmade lace top

All the same, I wasn’t going to go all guns out on some fancy expensive fabric, mind… just in case. So a little trip to Dave the Drapers in Shepherds Bush Market, found me some cheap lace in case it didn’t quite go to plan. And yes that lace is cheap. £1.25m cheap! And. Plus. A gazzillion volts of static electricity told me so!

M7542 handmade lace top

But… hand cream saved the day! I kid you not, just rubbed some in my hands – which are always dry as some bones – and ran the fabric through newly moisturised hands. Just to see. And guess what? Not one single, tiny crackle!

M7542 lace top detail

Now as you can see, the fabric has a fair bit of show-through so my main concern was keeping those seams neat – not so much that my bra would show. Priorities, right?! French-seaming was the way forward and with narrow zigzag stitch to account for a bit of stretch in the lace. I had to concentrate and take time over this as the prospect of unpicking was terrifying and probably impossible tbh. All the little stitches properly embedded and camou’d in the lace. But worth the effort. I just love how the joins are visible.

M7542 lace top and short skirt

The only thing I changed up was substituting the neck facing for a satin bias edging. The binding also edges the opening at the back and I sewed a single large popper at the back for the closure. I had originally considered a rouleau button loop but that seemed like a lot of effort for such little exposure – I wear my hair down most of the time so it’s covered up anyway.

The lace trim just finishes it off nicely. I had no fraying issues, but I didn’t like the harsh edge once cut. The mad thing was that the trim cost nearly twice as much as the fabric, ha!

M7542 lace top

When I first showed Dan this top, on the hanger, his response was Cool! Very Stevie Nicks! But when I put it on, he said Mmmm… too much skin! I agreed and bought a black cami top the next day to up the modesty factor. But then there was a disappointingly lack of detail. So back to the bra and off to Horseguards parade at 6am on Friday morning to shoot it.

M7542 lace top side view

I wore a jacket for the tube journey but still felt, full pelt, the commuter looks of: someone didn’t go home last night! 60 derniers and my handmade quilted skirt ensured decent coverage to my lower half at least.

The walk from Westminster station to St. James’ Park and Horseguards Parade at that time of the morning was just lovely. The morning light was so glorious and the buildings were lit beautifully all around us. So worth getting up at the crack of sparrows!

M7542 lace top and sunglasses

It’s quite incredible that the on same spot where I was being photographed, jousting was once a thing for Henry VIIIs entertainment! There was a fancy guard at the entrance of the arch – one of the Queen’s Lifeguards – but we spared him of early morning hassle, sure that he would need a little break before onslaught of tourist attention.

There were hardly any people around, save the guard, a few (heavily armed) policemen and a few boldly striding city workers. So thankfully no gawpers as I stood, near-naked in the morning light. We took some more alongside the pillared Mall Galleries and a wolf-whistling cyclist signalled it was time to put the jacket back on!

M7542 lace top in Mall

I’ll happily wear it like this to dimly lit gigs and parties but I will have to rethink an undergarment for any day time wear. Maybe it’s a red cami or a boob tube or suchlike. Suggestions very welcome!

I’ve also just managed to enter this in time for #Sleevefest2017, hosted on Instagram by Valentine and Stitch and dream.cut.sew .The challenge runs from now until August 31st 2017 so you’ve still got time to submit your creative sleeve designs. And here’s a link (affiliate) in case you get the same calling for McCalls Ladies Easy Sewing Pattern 7542 Tops with Sleeve Variations.

Happy sewing, everyone! x

M7542 lace top back view




A skirt most fitting for my friend

Fitted pencil skirt

Meet Ms Moneypenny. AKA my lovely friend, Katy. Modelling the skirt she won in the school auction, made by yours truly.

And prepare for a whole host of lovely shots taken by Mr Ooobop, AKA Daniel who I am nagging like mad to get his portfolio up and live so I can share more of his lovely photography with you.

fitted pencil skirt modelled in the garden

Getting the fit right on ones own self is one thing but the pressure to get it right for someone else is far more terrifying! I suppose it’s a good kind of terrifying because it does make you learn very fast and not settle for anything less than a good fit.

I got a bit lucky with Katy. One measuring session, one draft of the pieces, one test skirt for a fitting, and one final fitting for the actual skirt. Probably by the power of flook but selling it in as skill!

Katy happy in her new skirt

This lovely little impromptu shoot revealed Katy’s hidden modelling talents. Took to it like a duck to water, she did. And check out those pins… we don’t get to see them very often!

sitting pretty with flowers

Such a pretty garden too. Could easily be confused for one in the Med! I wish I’d have taken a shot of Mr O as he was clicking away. He was revelling in the whole session. Lying on the floor, up in a tree, peeping round Grecian columns…! I was blissed out with G&T in one hand and hot dog in the other!

Katy modelling pencil skirt

And of course there were props…

back view with Frankie the puppy

Meet Frankie Knuckles, Katy’s 11-week old border terrier puppy. She has stolen everyone’s heart, obvs!

Holding Frankie the puppy

And there was photobombing, of course!

photobombed by children

Oh how I love this shot…

Katy modelling with her daughter

It’s such a great feeling to make something for someone who means so much to you. Especially when it fits them so well. It’s also the only time you can really get away with unashamedly staring at your mate’s bum.

You can just about see where I hand-picked the lapped zipper, and of course where I – ahem – matched the checks across the back seam (*polishes nails*)

See now, you’re all looking at her bum!

back view of skirt

The waistband pattern runs through centre front but waist darts rather mess up the plan. When I next make a skirt with this kind of fabric (it’s 100% gorgeous wool by the way) I might be inclined to create side seams on the waistband, as on properly tailored skirts, so that I can match the checks on the back too. This would also allow for expansion if ever needed.

front detail of skirt

I leave you all with a parting shot of the adorable Frankie. A fine model herself and because I just know she stole your heart too!

puppy border terrier

Here’s to more sunshiny days, fabulous photos, cute puppy dogs, fantastic friends and great opportunities for wonderful sewing projects. Cheers all x