Tag: wearable art

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Uninvited Guest – a story of imposter sydrome and the great pretender

Uninvited Guest puppet pose

I made this dress to illustrate the the ever present cloud of imposter syndrome and all the things I think ‘they’ are thinking.

I’ve suffered from it for years and it pains me to think of all the opportunities and invitations I’ve turned down because of that infuriating inner critique who rejoices in reminding me that I’m simply not good enough.

Uninvited Guest sitting crying

There’s a lot of talk about this issue among the artists I work alongside and its been so refreshing to discover that even the most confident-projecting people I know, suffer too. They just have better ways of masking it than me!

To be knowingly or seemingly uninvited to anything is such a devastating blow to ones ego, heart and soul. But to be invited and then doubting the authenticity of the gesture, leaves just as sour a response to be fair.

The irationality is real!

Uninvited Guest who knows

I wanted to make a party dress. The kind I would have worn to all the best parties when I was a young girl, should I had been invited. Big puffy party sleeves of course. A full and flirty skirt to dance and twirl round in until peak of dizzy, with enough fabric each side to grasp onto for extreme moments of self-conciousness when I didn’t quite know what to do with myself.

It would not have been transparent though. Not like this one. The stuff of nightmares of course to turn up to a party and everyone see right through you. Noticing all your flaws along with your pants!

Uninvited Guest curtsey

But those words would be loud and clear and there, for all to see, in no particular order: unlikeable, ungracious, unsteady, unbefitting, unattractive, unfortunate, ungainly, unpopular, uncool, unfit, undeserving, unfashionable, unexceptional, unsuitable, uninspiring, uneducated, unexciting, underwhelming, unwanted, uninteresting, unequal, unwelcome, unqualified, unstable, unapproachable…

How effortlessly a word can change from one extreme to the polar opposite with the addition of a tiny, two character prefix – un.

Uninvited Guest close up

I managed to scare a few Instagram followers with these images. That wasn’t my intent, I assure you. In fact I didn’t know how I was going to present the final dress in front of the lens but I did know it needed a mask. I didn’t want my face and expression to take anything away from the dress. I can’t fake sad and I didn’t want comedy sad, just rejection. The graphic image of the Pierrot doll featured a lot in my childhood. On my mirror, the cover of my diary. I had a bag, a pencil case and an actual doll. It seemed a perfect time to bring the charming little clown back into play and I couldn’t resist making a little ruffled collar as an additional accessory too..

The materials I used were all reclaimed. The dress itself it made from a voile net curtain, The added ruffles were strips cut from the remains a lace net curtain, the scallopped edge of which was used for the collar. The mask is papier mache, and painted with acrylic paints. I bought these white slingback shoes a while back for a shoot and just made some lacy pompoms (from strips of the net curtain) to clip to the fronts (with hair grips!).

Uninvited Guest pompom shoes

The dress itself was self-drafted and the words embroidered using the free-motion technique on my sewing machine. This was undoubtedly the most challenging part as the fabric insisted on disappearing down with the feed dogs on one too many an occasion!

It wasn’t just the dress that was made with what was available, Dan created the wonderful setting with stuff that was simply just lying around. I was so busy with work alongside the making of the dress and putting it all together I hadn’t thought beyond a plain colour roll as a backdrop for the shots but was blown away when I saw the magically lit set he had created.

uninvited Guest corner rays

And I’m so happy with the result. I’m so grateful that he supports all my crazy sewing and art ideas and basically helps me to decant all the head soup that would otherwise be bubbling away and instead allows space for all the new stuff!

Uninvited Guest resting

If you’d like to see this piece for real, It will be on display in or near my workspace on Saturday 8th June at Kindred Open Studios (Shepherds Bush, West London). Do come along if you are local and you can – it’s FREE! – There are in excess of 65 artists here with so much talent to see, a fabulous exhibition in the main gallery, live music, cafe and bar, free workshops (sign up for my little mending circle here) with DJ and campfire as we keep going till 10.30pm in the evening. I assure you it will be worth a wee trip!

If I get a chance to take some photos, I’ll do a little post about it as it might just be the last one… no pressure!

In the meantime, I’m going to be planning my next piece of wearable art because I realised this is what I absolutely love for all number of reasons. Please leave a comment with any thoughts or questions. I love to hear from you all. Until next time x

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I’m running away – join me on my new adventure!

fugitive
/ˈfjuːdʒɪtɪv/
noun
a person who has escaped from captivity or is in hiding.

I wonder how many words we process in a day. Spoken, heard, read and written – it must amount to thousands or quite possibly tens of thousands if you are a Wordy Rappinghood like me! Sometimes a single solitary word begs to be repeated more than a few times – pronounced with different stresses, in different accents, elongating the syllables – toying with it until it’s meaning is lost.

One such word that presented itself one day was ‘fugitive’. A word I’m sure I’ve only read and heard and unlikely to have ever spoken or written. But I dwelled on it because it seemed very relevant at a time when I was feeling a sense of change in my sewing life.

I’ve been sewing for what seems like forever. The contents of my wardrobe are almost exclusively made by me and I used to say ‘except for undies and jummies’ but that has changed up too! And so my need for sewing basic clothes to wear isn’t half as urgent as my new need for exploring clothes as art.

In the two years since joining Kindred Studios my craving for creativity has just exploded. I mean, how did I not see that coming when I was surrounded by so much talent and such inspiration from all the artists here?

As the beginning of 2024 pulled me into the usual analytic state, assessing all that I do and all that I want to do, the vision was so clear as I set about my first project – a refashioned man’s jacket.

Red pin-stripe suiting has always been a fave fabric but is more difficult to find in fabric shops than one might think. So when I found the jacket in a charity shop, I snapped it up without even checking the fit, which was terrible btw – shoulders too wide, sleeves too long, waist too low, and a horrid bum flap to boot! Refashioning was the only way I was going to get that fabric on my back!

I cropped it to waist length and cinched it in with a wide elastic casing, leaving a single closure at the front waist, swapping out the remaining button for an enamel pirate button. I cut paulettes from the discarded pieces and sewed them to the shoulders to further accentuate and make sense of the wide and padded shoulders.

Rather than simply shorten the sleeves, I thought it would be more interesting to drape and hand-stitch them to a cropped three-quarter length – Miami Vice eat your heart out!

Red thread accents to the cuff buttons were a must. I just love how all the buttons overlap. I didn’t know this was a standard thing.

‘Fugitive’ as chain-stitched on the reverse, represents my escape from safe practices and the beginnings of more adventurous experiments with wearable art.  I’ve also looped a red metallic chain from one of the epaulettes so that some of the party extends to the side and front.

This is the prologue, if you like. A gentle easing in for what’s to come next, because chapter one is shaping up already and there’s lots more words to come.

It’s taken a while to organise the shoot because I had a face full of cold for what seemed like the whole of January, into the beginning of Feb. But it was worth the wait because in the meantime, Dan evolved his photographic set up and has produced what is probably my favourite set of photos yet!

I’d love to know what you think. Do let me know in the comments and I hope to show you my next reveal real soon.

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How to make a cute dress ‘dead cute’

I basically made a cute dress… and de-cuted it!

But why, Janene, why? Well since you asked, I’d grab a cuppa and pull up a comfy cushion if I were you, because there’s no short answer.

I’ve had the inclination to ‘mess things up’ for a while now. Not exclusively for moments of therapy when prompted by frustration, but because I’ve felt a bit caged. As if I’ve been blinkered and strapped down. Like I’ve had my wings clipped. I know this sounds a bit over dramatic. Especially since I lead a very nice life am surrounded by gorgeous friends and family and have a very desirable job. But I guess everything I do is, on the whole, well-behaved, expected, accurate and rule abiding. My work as a graphic designer permits a modicum of out-of-the-box thinking but largely there are rules, whatever industry I’m creating for. And the same goes for my ‘until now’ sewing: Cutting is precise, seams are consistent, fit is important and placement of design is key, etc etc. 

I documented my failed consideration of the neckline-keyhole placement on Instagram, how it  bugged the hell out of me that it wasn’t properly centred between spots. Most people agreed. Some shrugged it off and said it didn’t bother them. I was quite jealous of those people because caring so much about the finer detail is IMHO partly responsible for my lack of adventure! I’m not sure I can ever change that up though. I’ll just have to add the wilder stuff on top… or on the bottom!

In March this year, my wish to have a studio finally came true and I moved in with more than 60 other artists. My requirements were very basic – I had dreamed of having a cutting table as its quite tricky to get back up of the floor after a long cutting session nowadays – And faster wifi so that my graphic files would deliver as soon as I sent them. Little things, generally speaking, but actually, massive things to me, that would make a real difference to my productivity. 

Within days of settling in, I relished the added advantage of being able to leave a project out on the table overnight so that you can just come in and crack straight on with it the following morning, how awesome it was having a whole space to myself (apart from when Dan comes in) but yet there is often a friendly knock at the door, an invitation to lunch at the lovely cafe and advice and inspiration on tap.

I’ll admit to having big old imposter syndrome at first. Like ‘how can I possibly match up to the artistry that is resident here?’ I’m a graphic designer not a fine artist and I’m a dressmaker not a fashion designer. But therein lay the problem! I had labelled myself with titles of position, boxed myself in by definition and process. I design books and I make dresses for sure but that’s not all that I am or the end of the story by any stretch of the words, I can now feel all the other possibilities rising to the surface. Its sooo hard not to be inspired here! Next door to me is a wonderful poet, artist and mentor, the other side a painter and an interior designer, an amazing costumier upstairs with photographers, textile artists, musicians, set designers and an entomologist to boot!

The initial stage of the dress came about as I wandered around a charity shop in Shoreham. I found the red polka dot fabric there. Vintage most probably and slightly marked in place, approximately 5 metres of it and cheap. London prices are set as much as new fabric in some cases so it was straight in the bag without even considering what it would be used for. A regular habit and sometimes I think its a bad one until I think of a use and then I think its a good habit, hahaha!

I love the idea of rescuing fabric as much as I love purchasing brand new fabric that matches the exact Idea I have in my head so it helps to have a balance so I don’t feel too bad about buying new all the time. I think this must have been used as a table cloth or such like in its previous life but whatever it was I couldn’t really envisage me in a twee dress. So as I walked out of the shop with a bargain of a buy, I started to dream up the dress.

It didn’t take long. It needed black, that’s all. Just black. The ‘colour’ I always come running home to. My safety zone.  I used to only wear black when I was younger, not because I was goth or punk, I was very much on board with the New Romantics and if I bought anything black (sometimes white) I could guaranteee that the garments would layer and mix and match quite successfully – cheaper that way too. A black dress would render me invisible and cool at the same time. I could be part of the crowd yet not stand out at all, seeing as most of my peers were wearing black too! A kind of invisibility cloak, if you like.

When I returned to sewing (more seriously) about 20 years ago I wanted to sew all the colours, all the flowery fabric and all the frills. Because I could. Because I could affford to. And because I found a wonderful sewing community and I wanted to be just like them. But now I feel like I’ve come full circle armed with a fresh load of knowledge and Inspo, from the job that I do – I just love typography and graphic imagery – from my surrounding artist friends – I’m going large on the brush strokes – and a new found sense of brave. I just want to try new things. Not worry whether it fits in with anyone elses vibe and certainly not fashion as a whole. I don’t think I ever worried about that too much anyhoos but I just want to explore more possibilities 

And so this dress was created from a pattern I designed from my own drafted pattern block. I used a vintage reclaimed fabric and painted on it with large black and white brush strokes, I carved a Lino piece to print the skulls, I used rubber letter stamps for some of the wording and I appliquéd the stars with scrap satin. Bubble wrap mono print and brush flicks were added for  texture. I used a fabric paint called Pebeo Setacolor which was fixed with heat, and I’ll report back with the results on how it laundered! Its not my best work yet, but I am proud and relieved to have finally released one of those crazy ideas from my head and put it into practice.

If I’d have made this dress as a youngster, my mum would definitely have walked ten paces behind me, worried about all the disapproving looks from people in the neighbourhood. It’s still kind of like that where she lives. Although she’s more used to me being ‘whacky’ now lol. But by stark comparison, Dan and I wandered around Portobello and the Grand Union Canal in West London, blending in perfectly with the surroundings and not a soul batting an eyelid. This is one of the main reason I love London. Another is that you come across free location set ups like this!

Oh, and this is how reasonably cute the dress was before:

I’ve got more ideas bubbling and more reclaimed fabric that will be perfect for purpose so I hope to share those once they are realised. There will also be a more demure wedding guest outfit to share soon too so do hit the subscribe pattern to be notified by Email of a new post.

Thanks to Dan for these amazing photos. Thanks to all the inspiring people in my life and many thanks too for you reading my waffle all the way to the end. Im forever grateful for your support and comments.